Saturday, February 20, 2010
just wanna be me
Despite going through enough to find being emo useless and a nuisance, it seems like its just simply still a channel to let some reasonable emotions out.
I am lost. again.
Maybe because I am aimless at the moment, fighting seem so hard mentally to want to make life right keep it right, do the right thing, it really wears me down knowing I have only myself. Inwhich is actually good, since it is the beginning of independence in Not relying others to live your own life anymore. In fact, you should only need you to go on.
I really don't need much. I need you to be just around in my life as a mental support. You just need to be where you are. I really once needed this kind of living to go on. Relying someone as my heart's support to go on. Like a parasite in a very invisible way.
But now, I am gradually surppassing that as I see the outcome of it is indesirable too however subtle. Knowing it experiencially what it means to be responsible for your own life. You take care of yourself. And if you are blessed, you have someone else to cherish you like his gem.
I thank God, with all that has passed You helped me see my value and not let anyone or even myself to devalue my life in anyway anymore.
This is a new beginning once again, where the fruits bore from the lessons in life will be everlasting. A step and a time, I am reaching there.
Occasionally when I looked back at the loves and endearing past I still feel a sense of nostalgia and the feeling of gratefulness and tinges of unbearable lost.
Yet, I know its for our own good. Some love is to leave. Some love is to stop doing anything. When no words is better than lovely promise and no affection is better than showering attention.
We all have to go find our own life and fight for the course of our journey however painful.
Because of you I once again experienced true love. And I really don't want to waste time on unworthy people like in the past.
Set a new path now. And work hard on it. Make the rest of our life the greatest achievement to make everything in the past worth the price.
tot @
11:34 PM